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I cannot believe it is already time for everyone’s favorite Thursday daytime melodrama. I’m talking, of course, about HNT. Last week’s entry was ultimate cool. Some of my best work. This week’s is ultimate lame. But this is what you get when I forget about HNT and am reminded of it by some rodent showing off his balls, as seen in the background. Uber-cool blogospherians will recognize where that image comes from.

So I’m going to do something I haven’t done here, ever. I’m going to show off a scar. This scar, as most scars do, has a story. But not one of those cool stories involving high-speed chases, bullets, and lots of things exploding unnecessarily. No, I can’t have one of those cool stories. I have to have a lamebutt story involving - you may want to sit down for this - tug-of-war.

Really, that’s what happened. My company had this big shindig where we were supposed to mingle with others from around the office, and I was competing in a tug-of-war contest wherein my team was competing against another team. We tried to get it so that my team was competing against itself, because no other team was nearly as good as us, but since nobody had a flux capacitor, that just wasn’t going to work out. So we had to find a different team. They were pretty good, I guess.

Well, the point here is that I decided, in order to gain a better grip on the rope, that I would wrap it around my arm. This worked all the way up until the point where I realized it was a stupid idea, which was pretty early on. A rope of the magnitude that we were using tends to be very bristly and burly. In my all-out effort to make my team win, the rope decided that that particular moment would be a good time to burrow into my skin, causing what was later termed the Rope Burn From Hell. Although I didn’t feel any pain right away - that’s how it usually is with these things - I felt it the next day. And the next. And the next. And for a while, I had a scab on my arm the size of Ted Kennedy. I am not making this up. The scab was half an inch thick, and about four inches long. I had never experienced anything like it. It was the talk of the office.

I’d like to say that the resulting scar is actually from a bullet that just barely grazed my arm as I was defending some major important American politician. But nobody would ever believe that story. Mainly because America doesn’t have any important politicians.

At least my team won the competition and walked away the tug-of-war champs.

So with that, I give you my lamebutt HNT for this week. My tug-of-war scar. If you want to find out more about what’s going on here, click the blue HNT button in my sidebar.

Important Political Update: When I say that this HNT is lame, I do not mean to suggest that anyone else who has also posted a scar-related HNT is lame. I only mean it is lame for me, compared to my usual content for HNT. I apologize if I have offended anyone. If you have a scar-based HNT, please know that I do not think it is lame. I am the only lame one here.