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I hate to push down that wonderful image of Superme - it’s no mistake that you are probably reading the word “Supreme” there - but some of you have been waiting for this, so it’s got to go down.

A few days ago I hinted that I was getting rid of my trusty ol’ 1986 Ford F-150 pickup, Bruno. As much as I love that old truck, I just can’t keep up with his needs anymore. He’s a good truck. Powerful. You just can’t argue with a V-8, and I’m not talking about the vegetable juice drink. Bruno can haul, there’s no question about it. But there are a few problems in keeping him. First, while a V-8 is powerful, it’s also thirsty. Bruno gets a whopping 14 miles to the gallon at best. With a 17-gallon tank, it costs over 40 dollars each fill-up and then that only lasts about a week. Second, he’s starting to fall apart faster than I can afford to fix him. Third, and I quote Fleet Admiral Morrow from Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, “[Bruno] is 20 years old. We feel [his] time is over.”

His time isn’t over, but that quote pretty much sums up his time with me and my family. He served us well. He helped boost my understanding of how engines work, and how cars and trucks work overall. I learned a lot from him and I increased my self-confidence through him as far as working on vehicles. I really feel like I can do just about anything on a vehicle, now. I just need the right tools, which thanks to my ingenious storage location (my unsecured front porch) I no longer have.

And so it goes. Thus, I bid a fond farewell to my friend. You have been good to my family and me. I regret that I must now pass you on to yet another owner, but I can no longer provide you with a home in which you will be useful. Thank you for all you have given us. Your new owners will need you more than I do. Be good to them.

Now enter the little wench who moved in and stole the master’s heart. Well, I’m pretty certain that’s what Bruno thinks of her. Yes, I know, it’s ridiculous to think that these trucks are alive and have thoughts. That’s how I am. Get over it. Anyway, I do believe Bruno is jealous of this little gal. And I think he’s got a right to be. I mean, who wouldn’t? Look at her. She’s sexy, sleek, half his age, and on Saturday she gets a brand new stereo. Bruno’s been asking me for one of them for years, but I could never get him one because he can’t be completely secured. I don’t even own this new truck yet, and she’s already getting one. How’s that for a slap in the face?

What she lacks in power she makes up for in features. Check out those nice wheels, eh? Those bazoombas are all natural, baby. No plastic or silicone going on at all. How about them curves and that beautiful blue coloring? A few scratches, dents, and dings, but then what real woman doesn’t have those? She has nothing to hide. Yes, she’s a babe, alright. Hot! I’m almost certain if the cicumstances were different, Bruno would be positioning himself properly to cop a feel or get a glance under her hood. He’s read Maddox’s book. He’s such a dirty old coot.

I’m sorry to know that Bruno is jealous, but that’s life. To be honest, I don’t care. I’m really enjoying this new little truck. So now comes the hard part: figuring out her name. BionicleBoy suggested Sally and I think that’s a fine name, but it doesn’t seem to fit completely. Kind of like a shirt that doesn’t square up right in the shoulders. I’ve been thinking that her name should be Li’l Blue. I like it. It has a certain ring to it. It’s easy to say, too. So far, she seems to like me. Hopefully she’s after me for my rugged good looks and not my money.