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I have a secret underground laboratory.  Because it is secret, I cannot tell you that it is located under my house.  Nor can I tell you that there are exactly four entrances, one of which is a super cool elevator that looks a lot like my front porch.  I also can't tell you that the way to activate the elevator is to move the zinnia flower slightly to the left, as if it were a lever.

This top secret information somehow got leaked to the world.  I'm not sure exactly how, but I will be doing an in depth investigation and will ferret out the loose tongue.  Then that person and I will have a serious talk, to possibly include a thousand lashings with a wet noodle.

The recent security breech led to someone taking a photo of my latest incredibly secret experiment. It's so incredibly secret I cannot tell you that it involves transplanting my brain into the head of my dog, then putting her head on my body.  And I also can't tell you that the photo that was taken is actually of me shortly after said transplant, taking a break just outside the inner sanctum of my laboratory, which is still underground.  I should also not point out that my laboratory actually has a nice open atrium of sorts with a large skylight (you can sort of see it in the back, there).  Fortunately, I was able to recover the image, so no damage is done.  I will make sure it gets stored on a highly secure Internet server that is only used to display this blog.  It will be safe there, I do believe.

Update: Some people have asked me why my lab coat is black and not white.  It's actually a visual joke.  My dog is part Black Lab.  Get it?  Black lab.  I'm wearing a black lab coat.  It's funny, trust me.

Happy HNT, everyone.  

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