SchadeBLOG

You’re starving.

You decide that the only thing that can sate your esurience is a simple conveyance built of two sides of baked wheat-gluten encasing a slice each of swine victual and aged bovine extract. A delight that many people have…delighted in…for centuries. A simple design with long lasting results.

That’s right, a ham and cheese sandwich.

You construct your delicious lunchtime meal with the eagerness of an East German Shepherd typing away at his keyboard, placing just the exact right amount of cheese perfectly in the center of the first slice of bread and topping it thusly with the exact right amount of ham. Your mouth salivates with the anticipation of soon being able to consume your delightful delicacy, knowing full well that your hunger will soon be satiated and you will be able to continue with…whatever it was you were doing before being interrupted by your lunch.

You take that second piece of bread and place it ever so lovingly on top of the ham and stand back to take in the beauty of your creation and behold…you suddenly realize that the second piece of bread is not perfectly matched to the first!

GASP!

You try as hard as you can to match the symmetry of the first piece, but you find it impossible. The only thing you can do is…flip the second piece of bread over! You realize that doing so would break the symbiotic relationship between the ham and the bread because you will separate a small portion of the ham’s juices from the rest of the otherwise well balanced sandwich. Those juices will be on the outside of the sandwich. You know that this will effect the overall satiating capabilities of the sandwich and now you are faced with a decision:

Do you flip the piece of bread, or leave it as is?

Either way will destroy the complete effect that the sandwich will have on your hunger. You know that eating the bread with ham juice on the outside of the sandwich will leave you with a feeling of emptiness, despite the fact that your belly will be full. And yet, could you comprehend even nibbling on a sandwich that is the least bit out of symmetry? While both options leave you with a feeling of disgust for yourself, you must come up with a decision. Your are hungry, and the sandwich in either state will alleviate your discomfort. You know that you will not be complete either way, but which is the lesser evil?

You make your decision…and flip the bread.

You consume your sandwich and in spite of your hopes for a feeling of utter satisfaction, you are filled with utter despair. For it will be a full 24 hours before you will have another chance to apply the lesson from this experience, which is to flip the bread before mating it with the rest of the meal. But hold your head up high, dear friend. You are not alone. Many have learned this lesson and have survived. And tomorrow is another day!